Have just finished reading Marian Keyes - the brightest star in the sky. A book which explores the concept that babies choose their parents. In the book it hosts the idea that the stars in the sky are babies waiting to be born and looking down trying to chose who their parents will be. It is a little slow to get started but once you are in it possesses all of Marian’s usual finesse!

If their is anything depressing in this journey it would be that their is some truth in this. The idea that I haven’t got pregnant because no-one has chosen us. G and I would be really fun parents and G actually thinks he is Peter Pan so I can’t see that there would be any truth in this at all. Why would a baby pick a 15 year old chain-smoking drug-taking teengager for a mother and not me. That would be the major flaw!

Next weekend Swindon are in the play-off finals at Wembley -  this always reminds me of all the times I have been to football matches to spend time with my dad. I so enjoyed getting my face-painted and singing songs all the way to Wembley with my dad. For 32 years my dad has been the person who has been there for me and shown me love, guidance and some fun times. My heart aches when I think about the possibility that G might never ever get to experience that feeling.

Following my last post various people recommended relaxation CD’s - this is what I am going to try on holiday. My friend Jackie sent me the Zita West CD so gonna take that with me and see what happens.

Showing signs of stress and anxiety and need to nip them in the bud before I start the next round!

xx

I cannot wait to go