So today G and I went armed with a long list of questions to try and get answered from Oxford but more than anything I wanted to get my mojo back!

I went to lunch with work for a friend’s leaving lunch - I got to sit next to my buddy who I havent seen for a few weeks (who has been inducted into my Grey’s world) so we have a good old natter!

Then G and I set off to the clinic. We were sat in the waiting room with a couple who had just had their 8 week scan and were beaming and talking about how they didnt know how they were going to keep it a secret for the next four weeks. I want to be able to deal with situations like that but for now as always it bought a tear to my eye and I said to G ‘why them?’.

We saw a new consultant today a french lady. She was SO much better than any of the other consultants we have seen. To start with she asked how I was and if I was coping. The others we have seen are very clinical scientist types.

We went through the cycle and assessed the fact that cycle one was more successful in terms of eggs and quality and yet cycle two was the more successful one in terms of conceiving - so we talked about whether day three transfers work better for me.

I told her about my worries regarding egg quality and she said that looking at both cycle one and two we had two A1 embryos which is the best we could ever get and that that is really encouraging. I said was 6 and 5 low numbers and she said we actually got 10 and 9 but they only tell us which ones are mature. She is going to up the dose again this time to try and get 10 good ones in the next round. I asked if there is anything I can do to increase egg quality and she said there wasn’t!

Then I bought up the dreaded luteal support question. She laughed and it would seem it is a question they get asked all of the time. She said the clinic did a massive study a few years ago that said there was no difference from stopping on test day or carrying on. However, she said if I feel more confident and positive by taking them up until 12 weeks then she is happy to prescribe that.

She also said that although the miscarriage is awful and distressing, it is actually positive that I conceived and that even though the embryo died my body responded well to being pregnant.

She was really positive and helpful, unlike anyone else we have seen.

I am still devastated and not myself and grieving for my baby but she seemed very positive for round three and made it clear she doesnt say that to everyone.

Plus G and I then went to Bicester shopping and he bought me a new french connection coat which I LOVE! That boy knows how to make me happy (except when he paints the bedroom and i have to sleep on the sofa :o) )

Night all

xxxxxxx